Wedding planning by dummies!

This post comes in the wake of a friend asking me to help plan her wedding. I am not going to get all nostalgic and cutesy about my dream wedding. Yes yes, I got married after all the fuss you might remember from one of my older posts.

Being the control freak, I went about planning and executing the wedding with participation from my fiancé, support from both sets of darling parents and running around done by some friends and relatives.

source - http://www.ahlanlive.com/ 

So here goes the list created by us wedding planning dummies - 

• 'Money Conversation'
- this is the most important conversation according to me which is often missed out in the excitement of the engagement. Since my fiancé and I wanted to pay for the wedding expenses we started working with a number in mind. Allocate on the following items as per your wishes. You can still have a fancy wedding if you are willing to look around for the cheap deals and cut out the fringes that you won't even notice

• Theme/type of wedding - is it going to be religious? just a party for relatives and friends? or a bit of both? His city or hers or a destination wedding? Winter or summer wedding?

• Guest list - At the early stages you only need to know the overall number. It could cause you some stress if what you and your fiancé want is different from what the families want. But some fights and negotiations later you will pin down on a number which is for you to decide on the venue and the rest of the details. You just need to know how many are invited for which events (if you have more than one event) at the early stages. 

• Venue - One of the first things to book since all the best places and best deals get taken very soon. Plan at least 6-8 months in advance. If you want to do it in a place of worship you will have to talk to the priest and work out the details. Keep in mind the weather, number of guests, accessibility, parking, lighting, ventilation etc. Also,ask about the furniture they would give, water and electricity charges. I wanted an open air wedding since I was bored of seeing all the weddings in a close door place and I am slightly claustrophobic. Hence we decided on a lawn of a heritage hotel which also accommodated many of our guests.

• Accommodation and transport for out of town guests - to get better deals book your accomodation in advance. You can keep an approximate number in mind while doing so. See if any in-town relatives and friends are willing to host guests. Renting an apartment or a house might be more economical than hotels sometimes. Check out taxi rates for guests to ply to and from the venue to the place of accomodation. Ask if friends and relatives are willing to chauffeur for the day.

• Invitation cards - you might want to check online to see what styles you like best, before you venture out. My personal suggestion would be not to spend a fortune on this because most people will end up trashing it. If you do not find anything you like in the market you might like to design it yourself or with the help of friends and get it printed. There are many softwares available for you do to so. Also, you don't have to follow conventions to the T. Experiment a bit and write what you and your family want to as long as it conveys the basic message

• Catering - Get quotes from couple of caterers and do the mandatory tasting. If you are specific about things like me, you might want to check on the dishes and cutlery used to serve the food, if you want to go green then insist of minimal use of plastic. Add on the cost of transporting the cooked food or the dishes to cook the food to the venue which is most often missed by the caterers while mentioning their per plate price.

• Decoration - most often this might come with the venue. If not, then you might want to look for a decorator who will take care of the chairs, tables, flowers, music, tent, decorative lights, regular lights if you have an evening of entertainment, back-up power arrangement.

• Photographer - do some search on-line to find out the type of photographs that you want. You can ask around or find photographers through the photos that you like on-line. Please sign a contract with the photographer else you will have grief like we did with the person not turning up on time, not delivering on time, not delivering the required number of photos, not bothering to cover everybody and in the end completely ignoring your calls...

• Entertainment - personally I am not a big fan of entertainment during the wedding because I think the wedding ceremonies itself are a big entertainment and it is a place for people to mingle. But if you want to book a band, musician, troupe, please do so after watching their show

• Wedding favors - this is something that depends a lot on the tradition but who says you cant experiment. South India has the tradition of giving Thabulam which consists of a betal leaf, betal nut and coconut. Return-gifts range from a simple chocolate/sweet to something as expensive as silver or gold. Work on it with your budget in mind. No one is really going to remember what you gave them after a few years. 

• Trousseau - please do not spend a fortune on both the brides and grooms clothing. You might want to keep in mind if it is usable again and the opportunity cost of getting something extravagant which is going to sleep inside the wardrobes for the rest of your lives. I know its important to look your best, but then its your wedding, everybody thinks you look the best ;)

• Delegate - Towards the wedding it is best to delegate all the items to different relatives or friends after explaining all the details. This will help you enjoy your D-day without stress. Who am I kidding, you will still be super-stressed, but at least not worrying about the minor details....

Happy wedding-planning!!!